A gentleman is always involved with the world. In fact I vew him rather as the Athenian Greeks viewed the Citizen- the most valued segment of society and the one true cultured individual.
The gentleman is not superior to others because of birth, money or even intelect. He is superior because he has chosen to be and because he involves himself in public afairs. In other words anyone many become one.
There are basicaly three ways in which an individual may involve themselves in wider society.
By social interactions with his peers.
By his contribution to his group or profession.
By his involvment with wider society and the state.
I contend that a truely useful citizen must be involved in all three. In fact it is practicaly impossible to seperate them completely. An improvement in one area tends to improve the other two.
By social interactions with his peers.
There are a great many 'bricks and morter' clubs one may join such as the Royal and Overseas Club pictured here. These have their uses such as relatively cheap worldwide accommodation (which is still expensive for a guy like me) and some interesting debates and talks but clubs such as this probably contain people who are known to one another. In other words they exist to continue already existing friendships rather than to forge new ones. I looked into this at some length but decided it would not profit me very much to join. Members probably seek a quiet retreat from the world. Many clubs carry out charity works but this is not the main focus of their activity. In addition none of them offer the range of activities to be found on line and so I advise you to start there.
The pick up community is very good at convincing men that they have 'approach anxiety' when they actually suffer from 'not wanting to ruin someones night out' anxiety. PUA's are supposed to be approach machines and barge into groups without invitation. Reluctance to do so is said to be AA rather than good manners. This conditioning is so strong that many men do not notice that they can talk to women quite naturally without any AA at all- provided it occurs naturally in a warm environment.
By designing a social life one avoids the need to barge into other peoples lives in an obnoxious way. If you join meetup or city social you may meet people seven nights a week. This is because the people who go to these events do so in order to meet new people and so they can hardly be offended if you talk to them.
This is quite different to the standard 'pick up' situation where a man approaches a group of women who have no interest in him whatever. When he gets shot down the pick up gurus convince him that he needs more training when he actually needs to meet more receptive people.
Social people hardly ever suffer from mental problems and an active social life can be viewed as preventative medicine for unhappiness in the same way that moderate exercise wards off illness.
The whole subject of 'game' is an unreal problem. I cannot believe I spent so much time on it.
You may also meet a great many cool guys at these groups- particularly if you have hobbies. In fact your social problems are over.
By his contribution to his group or profession.
In the centre of London there is a tiny micro state- of one square mile known as the City. This is run on Athenian Democratic lines rather than the Westminster patten which exists elsewhere. Very few of the people who work there are Freemen (citizens) but anyone may become one by contributing to their profession, joining a Livery Company and wearing silly costumes. The remainder of the time they sit in grand halls eating and drinking. Not a bad life.
The City may offer the most picturesque means of doing this but every city has its own associations. You may use these to network with others in your profession and to contribute to it in various ways.
In this way you protect against unemployment while also meeting people like yourself. Members of Livery Companies are expected to pay 'fines' which are used for charitable purposes. In this way the Freeman gets what he wants (respect and honor) by giving the less fortunate what they want (assistance). The Freeman also enjoys some largely meaningless legal advantages such as the right to be hung by a silk rope if awarded the death penalty (which does not exist in the UK).
By his involvement with wider society and the state.
There are many ways to do this but I prefer the more constructive ones such as joining a Learned Society. These are associations dedicated to promoting some area of knowledge. They are found in many countries but for some reason there are more in Britain than anywhere else.
Many societies require their members to work in some specialist field and to engage in original research but many do not. My own favourite is the Royal Society of Arts. This is involved in may areas but one of them is a series of lectures that is rather like a UK version of TED. This is available free of charge to anyone interested and may be viewed on the Internet.
Members of the RSA are committed to making the world a better place. All of them are active citizens which makes them interesting guys to talk to. Membership of this association allows one to place the letters FRSA after ones name as well as other minor benefits.
My point is not to tell you that these are the only possibilities but to offer them as examples.
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