One man who I admire and who lives without compromise is the blogger behind the Heretical Sex blog, Men's Links and Mental Abuse.org. He has pretty much exorcised western women from his life and is currently planning to marry a Philippine woman (not the one in the photo). I thought you might like to hear his experiences.
1) What are the main differences you have found between women in the UK and other countries? How did you become aware of them and where do you think the differences come from?
I was living with a British woman for many years, and I didn't realise that things could be any different. I had always been involved with the Left and was very sympathetic to feminist ideas for many years. I came from a working-class background, and my parents always taught me that education was the escape route out of poverty. When I arrived at university, I was very taken with all those middle-class daughters. That was the kind of girl I aspired to be with, and pretty soon I had set up home with one of them. I got a good job, and I was living my parents' dream. I soon found that the middle-class is actually not always a very pleasant place to be, particularly if you're a man, but I must admit the food is better. I found it shallow, materialistic and female-dominated. I found myself at endless dinner parties where we would all sit around cooing over each other's Ikea tableware and discussing house-prices. This is really not the life I wanted. It had stability, but it was superficial and unsatisfying.
I learned the hard way that feminists make very bad partners, because when it comes down to it, they regard men as the enemy. Western women, schooled in this way of thinking, are trained from birth to think of nothing but themselves. They regard men simply as a resource to be plundered. A man's primary responsibility is still towards his wife and children, but a woman's primary responsibility is now towards herself and other women. This makes an equal relationship with a Western woman impossible, despite their endless bleating about equality.
I gave my partner everything I had, and made years of self-sacrifice for the relationship. She gave me nothing back, and turned her back on me in the end. When I started to withdraw my co-operation she became very abusive, and I eventually left her. When problems started to appear, the only response she knew was coercion. The obvious solution � supporting her partner and standing up for her marriage � was simply not an option for her. That would have meant contradicting her middle-class feminist friends and her life-long political indoctrination.
After a bad but inevitable split, I unexpectedly found myself single in London with money in my pocket, and I went out on the dating scene. I had a good experience, and I began to decide what kind of relationship I actually wanted with women. In the past I had allowed the woman to control the relationship to a very large extent. When I was in my late teens I would basically go out with anyone who would have me. This time, I began to focus on my own expectations and needs. You have to learn how to be single, not to fear being alone. After years of co-dependent misery and servitude, I was delighted to be single, and I wasn't about to give it up lightly. London being what it is, I happened to meet a lot of foreign women. This was partly by choice. I'd had enough of arrogant middle-class British women, obsessed with nothing but themselves.
I noticed that foreign women were actually significantly different. They have not been trained from birth to think of men as the enemy. They believe in marriage and the family, and they believe in pleasing their husbands, rather than controlling and undermining them. I very quickly decided that I much preferred them.
They are also much better lovers in my experience. In other parts of the world, sex is regarded as an art-form. Ironically, sexuality has always been an important source of power for women, so why feminists have tried to persuade women to abandon this is a strange quirk of history. The English-speaking world is a puritanical place at the best of times, and feminism has made this infinitely worse, with its insistence that all heterosexual sex is essentially coercive. It's interesting that George Orwell in 1984 invented an organization called the Women's Anti-Sex League. I do believe that the Protestant countries are the worst. The existing anti-sex, anti-pleasure discourse in these countries feeds very well into an anti-male, hydrophobic feminist agenda.
Where do the differences come from? As I said before, religion and culture play a part. Buddhists don't care so much about the 'sins of the flesh'. Catholics commit them and then go to confession on a Sunday - problem solved. Protestants would rather sit around being miserable.
The decline of the Western family is another factor. Marriage lies at the core of family life, and if the woman cares about her marriage, she will put some effort into it. A lot of Western women think that making an effort to please your husband means demeaning yourself and betraying the sisterhood. Feminism has indoctrinated them for years into believing that you can't be happily married and be a good feminist; you can't treat your husband well and be a good feminist; you can't really even be heterosexual and be a good feminist.
The West really is in an increasing crisis of social breakdown, and feminism is largely responsible for this.
The feminist movement can be regarded as a powerful trade organization, like a union. It attempts to set the price of access to women. It keeps trying to force the price ever-higher while women are expected to deliver less and less. That is why they object so strongly to any kind of commercial sex; it undercuts middle-class women.
Man-hating, hydrophobic lesbians have gained control of the feminist movement. They have
brain-washed Western women into thinking that marriage is oppressive, they should not have families, and their husbands are coercing them. This has the effect of further undermining marriage and the family, which is of course the intention. If the rank and file of women are prepared to listen to this crap that's their problem. They're too stupid to be with me.
One way to combat this tendency is simply to take a leaf out of their own book and boycott them. As far as I am concerned, they have priced themselves out of the market.
However, I don't intend to remain celibate or turn gay. There are plenty of women out there who are willing to have normal heterosexual relationships. If they are mainly in (or from) foreign countries, then so be it.
Many men in the movement are talking about a 'marriage strike'. I agree, but as far as I am concerned, it only applies to Western feminists. Once enough Western women realise the game is up, they'll drop feminism like a hot brick. We are already seeing clear evidence of their Bridget Jones anxieties about ending up on the shelf.
Like all trade unions, in their efforts to push the price ever-upwards, they reckoned without the effects of globalization; if labour costs are too high in one country, employers will simply go elsewhere. Feminists have assumed that they can push the price ever-upwards because men simply have no choice, and have nowhere else to go. They are wrong about that. Look to Asia. Find out what real women are like.
Perhaps another factor is that South east Asian women face competition from an active sex industry. People of both sexes routinely go for massage, and for men, it is very easy to get a little more with that. Many men also routinely keep mistresses, so perhaps wives feel that they have to make some effort.
Western princesses don't feel that they should have to make any effort at all. The mere fact that they have deigned to grace us with their presence should be enough to guarantee them a free meal ticket for life.
I'm currently mulling over the idea that women hate competition. There seems to be some empirical evidence for this, and it certainly explains a lot of the feminist movement's actions.
I used to spend my life running around trying to please a screaming, spoiled princess with the mental age of a five year old. I was the only one working, and I was supporting her economically. I would often come home from work and get a mouthful of abuse because I had brought the wrong kind of Parmesan, then I would receive a list of household chores to perform. Now I come in after the office, or a night out with my friends, and my South East Asian partner greets me wearing my favourite lingerie, tells me that she missed me, pours me a drink and hands it to me, helps me shower, and then leads me to the bedroom, where she gives me a massage. All I have to do in exchange for this is to behave normally, and do what my parents taught me to do, which is to love my wife and take care of her. Needless to say, I love her with all my heart, and I make every effort to please her. I don't want to go out with my friends very often when I know she's at home. What a contrast. I haven't 'forced' her to do this; that's just what many South East Asian women are like. Of course, feminists would say she's demeaning herself, and I'm oppressing her � but that is only because she is undercutting them. She also has an office job pretty similar to mine, and she is, of course, free to go out with her girlfriends, and I welcome her home in the best ways I can; a marriage is about give and take � it always has been. A lot of Western women think that this means you give and they take.
It doesn't have to be like this gentlemen; there is another way.
2) Men need to understand they are marrying not just one woman but her entire family as well. How should this be managed and how would you deal with the infamous 'my buffalo has been struck by lightning' letters?
To deal with your first question first. This is just a feature of the decline of the Western family. A century ago the same thing applied here; you were marrying into a family. Now we think of ourselves as individuals, and we expect to marry individuals. If you go to a country where marriage is still valued, you will probably find the extended family comes with it. If you want to resist the decline of the Western family, then you will find that having a family is one of the consequences.
Having a large extended family has both pros and cons. There is more responsibility and less privacy; but there is also much more support, less isolation, and less marriage breakdown. You pays your money and you takes your choice. It was just the same here in your grandfather's time.
Besides, when I was with my British partner, I seemed to spend a great deal of time looking after members of her family. This isn't any worse; in fact it's considerably better.
To take your second point about demands for money. Simple. Don't get involved with someone who makes them. My partner has a professional career very similar to mine. A lot of Western men seem to go over to Asia and marry prostitutes. This is almost always going to be a mistake in my view. You wouldn't marry a prostitute in this country, so why on Earth would you do it in Asia? Prostitutes are women who want to extract money from you, and sex is only one means of doing that. And of course, you can never expect her to be faithful, unless you really are naive.
One of the things you need in a successful relationship is to set clear boundaries and stick to them. Just tell her straight, I don't pay for my own parents' new air conditioner, and I'm not paying for yours.
The stuff about the sick buffalo and the mother's operation is something I've only ever read about, but my feeling is that it is never true. It's emotional extortion. The answer is simply to have none of it. She is probably telling the same story to half a dozen other men. Feminists of course would support this kind of extortion, because it means that the 'oppressed' woman is getting the better of the 'exploitative' man who has fallen in love with her, and if men get their fingers burned at the hands of prostitutes and Asian women, they will be reluctant to go back a second time, thus helping to shore up Western women's monopoly over Western men's access to sex.
3) Many men say that you should never take her back to the UK. I know that you are planning to do so. How are you planning to manage the risk?
I don't see that there are any particular risks. I actually met my partner at work in an office in London, and our relationship is a pretty conventional one; she just happens to be foreign. She is not a prostitute that I picked up in some bar while I was back-packing around the flesh-pots of the Orient. I would be more worried about marrying a Western middle-class princess. Way more worried.
I'm not looking for something strange and exotic; I'm actually looking for a conventional marriage based on mutual love, trust and respect. I have come to believe that that is hard to find in the West, because of the way that women are encouraged to think and behave. The sad thing is that this is also what women want, but the feminist movement won't allow them to have it, and they don't have the guts or good sense to stand up for themselves. They can't betray the sisterhood.
4) Is there a risk of seeing just what you wish to see when you wish to see in a strange culture?
Absolutely. You have a duty to learn your wife's language as well as you can, and to respect her culture, and that of her family. Unless you gain an understanding of her culture, you'll never really know her. It's important not to be naive.
I don't accept any of this social constructionist nonsense that the Left preaches. Culture is a fairly thick veneer laid on top of biology, and biology is the same the world over. Wherever you go in the world, people's brains are wired up in fundamentally the same way.
Language and culture differences will tend to create communication difficulties, so these need to be overcome as early as possible. But fundamentally, if you don't get on with each other, it's not going to work. Marriage to a foreigner is still a marriage like any other. Always remember that you are marrying a human being, not some fantasy figure.
Contrary to what many believe in the West, both male and female, Asian women are not compliant sex dolls. They are human beings, and they act like human beings.
5) What is the image of the Englishman abroad?
Well it is bound to vary from place to place. The British will be well-known in their former colonies, and less well-known elsewhere. We're not too popular in the Middle-East right now from what I hear. In the Far East, I believe that the UK is seen as a fairly desirable country to live in, but it is second-fiddle to the USA, which is in many ways pretty accurate.
I read that all over the world, Western men are regarded as the best husbands, but no-where in the world are Western women regarded as the best wives. I'm not at all surprised.
6) How do women in the UK react to your search?
As I said, it's not so much a search, I just found I preferred Asian women.
Well, a lot of them disapprove of it. I've been asked several times, "What is it with all these foreign girlfriends?", "What's wrong with British women?" I think a few of them are worried that if everyone takes my attitude, they will be in real trouble. And they are quite right. Asian women out-compete them in every way.
So much so, that there are moves afoot in the US to pass laws banning American men from marrying foreign women! This law was tacked onto VAWA II
My only criticism of the article is its title; feminism and fascism have been friends for years.This legislation is being sold as protecting the foreign women's rights,but it has nothing to do with it. It is about protecting American women's monopoly."The one thing that both supporters and opponents of the IMBRA bill can agree on is that these rules weren't drawn up to regulate foreign dating sites. They are intended to drive them out of business " Consider also the fact that we are constantly being warned off visiting places like Thailand. It is just for paedophiles; anyone who goes there is a sexual deviant; it is full of HIV infection, etc, etc. This is no accident. Feminists hate the place. In fact, it's a beautiful country,full of friendly people. This is economic protectionism, pure and simple. When trade unions realise that their own jobs are being threatened by 'cheap foreign imports', they demand that the market is rigged in order to artificially protect them.The same thing is happening here. Protectionism perpetuates poverty in other countries and weakens the economy here. It cannot last forever. What feminists are engaging in is protectionism.
Thank you very much.